Women, Grief and Jesus

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Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

grief-loss-therapy-newark-ohio

In the Gospel of Luke, chapter 7: 11-17, a widow is grieving the death of her only son. Research shows that a parent outliving a child is one of the most difficult sorrows to bear. This particular woman had also lost her husband. In ancient history, a widow relied on her sons to provide for her, so not only was this woman grieving, but she most likely was also filled with anxiety about her financial future. This is complex grief. However, while her dead son was being carried out in the midst of a large crowd, Jesus and his disciples came upon them. Reflecting on Jesus’ reaction to the woman and also to her son, can bring us comfort, hope and guidance in times of grief:

In spite of the large crowd, Jesus saw the woman. We can expect Jesus to individually notice us when we are hurting.

Jesus had compassion on the woman. He told her not to weep. We can expect the Lord’s compassion to surpass the depth of our pain. Also see John 11: 33-36, where Jesus weeps over the death of Lazarus, Mary and Martha’s brother.

Jesus asks the young man to rise up, “and he presented him to his mother.” Grief robs and steals, but Jesus gives back to us. When Jesus walked the earth, He sometimes gave back through raising the dead person to life again. Though this is obviously not the norm for modern day Christians, we can nonetheless expect that Jesus will fill the emptiness that loss brings, with life giving purpose.

No doubt many in this “large crowd” attempted to comfort this woman. But Luke only makes specific mention of the compassion of Jesus. When our hearts are grieving, turning to Jesus for comfort will help us not to put unrealistic expectations on others’ ability to soothe us.

When my mother lost my brother, her only son, we had our own personal, loving “crowd of people” that surrounded us. But we soon realized that no human being could possibly understand the many complex layers of emotional, mental, and physical cues that could suddenly catch us unawares and overwhelm us. Sometimes calling on the name of Jesus with every breath…simply because maybe that’s all we have strength to do…to just breathe…is one way to allow the depth of Christ’s compassion to fill every moment. As Jesus’ love begins to fill the emptiness left by loss, strength and purpose for living will slowly return.

Jesus’ reaction to the boy and the boy’s response, is also noteworthy. Jesus asked the boy to “arise” (vs. 14). The story continues with “so he who was dead sat up and began to speak.” There is a time, when as grieving women, we need to trust that Jesus’ deep compassion for our loss is enough to help us “arise” and move forward once again. Jesus wants to give life back to us. How this life will look will be different for every woman, and Jesus will lovingly help us take those first, faltering, forward steps.

Perhaps there are some women reading this to whom Jesus is calling to “arise” out of a piece of their grief, and receive a piece of life from Jesus. But others may simply need Jesus to notice them, to draw them out from the crowd, to fill them with His compassion. As women, whatever your need in your loss may be, Jesus is deeply moved by it. Like this widow with her only son, He sees you, He has compassion on you, and over time, He will restore life back to you.

Compliments of Practical Family Living, Inc.

Will the Real Jesus Please Stand Up – Lesson Four

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Will  the Real Jesus Please Stand UP by Kris Key

Lesson 4 of a 4 part series

Note: This Bible study is formatted for small group discussion. If using study individually, we suggest you journal your answers.

 

As we continue with “Will the Real Jesus Please Stand Up?” we have to ask ourselves: If Jesus is all and in all and we have chosen to live for Him, then will we stand up for Jesus? Will we be bold and confident in who we are in Christ that no matter the imposters around us, we will stand for the TRUTH? Will you surrender everything to be fully committed to Jesus Christ?

As we focus on our final scripture continue to pray for the Power of the Holy Spirit to move in our hearts and minds that we would be transformed into the likeness of Christ.

 

Read 1Corinthians 15: 1-2 and 15: 56-58.

Paul believes that all those who believe in Christ should live their lives in such a way that is honoring to the Lord. Whether by word or deed we proclaim our values to others by the choices we make. Paul concludes his letter to the church in Corinth with repeating when he first preached the Gospel to them and they believed. Paul is reminding them to come back to the TRUTH and to refocus on Jesus who gave His life that we might stand firm in our understanding of life eternal through Jesus death and resurrection.

Their life of faith should be one in which they stand firm in and not lose focus or grow weary doing so.

In verse two there is a confidence that the God who began a good work will surely bring it to completion. (Philippians 1:6)

Discussion Questions:

 What must we do to stand firm? As Christians? As a church?

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How does this encourage you in your faith journey?

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Do you ever feel as though your commitment to the Gospel is pointless or powerless?

What helps you refocus?

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God has claimed us as His and we are made in His image. Even when we are unlovable, God continues to love us and offer us grace.

The story of Jesus never grows old as it impacts generation upon generation and we see our own stories weaved through the tapestry of God’s redeeming love.

God’s grace is available for all as we begin a life of faith and God changes us from the inside out if we allow Him!

Share or journal an experience where the story of Jesus impacted your life.

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Read ICorinthians 15: 56-58.

We come to the question once again – “Will you stand up for Jesus?”

For nothing we do is in vain because of what Jesus did for us.

Throughout chapter 15 – Paul gives testimony of the evidence of the death and resurrection of Jesus through the scriptures and eyewitnesses. It is sin that brought about our demise and deemed us powerless, with what appeared Satan winning. Sin brings death and the sting of death! But God defeated Satan once and for all in the resurrection of Jesus. Jesus was victorious over death therefore we have nothing to fear in death.

Romans 5:12, 6:23, 7:7-20 (also see Hebrews 2: 14-15)

When we can’t keep the law we have the gift of forgiveness through the cross of Jesus. Sin no longer has any hold on those who believe and allow the Holy Spirit to reign in their lives.

God gave us laws to live by, however we often cannot live up to God’s laws and that is why we desperately need a Savior!

 

Discussion Questions:

Where are you trying to live by the law rather than in the freedom of grace and mercy?

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How are you claiming the promise of the victory we have in Jesus?

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The command is given for all to stand firm, let nothing move you. In what ways are you or have you obeyed this command?

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We as dearly loved people of God must be intentional each and every day to follow God’s agenda in spreading the Gospel, making disciples and bearing fruit that will last.  We must renew that same spirit of complete surrender, determination, faithfulness, steadfastness, consistency and perseverance – no matter what we face or the cost.

We cannot afford to give up but instead with the passion Paul displays to be immovable in our stand for Christ.

 

Discussion Questions:

What has been distracting or blinding you from remaining immovable and faithful?

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How can you stand firm and stand up for Jesus in your sphere of influence?

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How can keeping your focus on Jesus instead of circumstances help you stand firm? (Hebrews 12: 1-3)

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Will you allow the Real Jesus in you to stand up and stand firm by the power of the Holy Spirit?

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Thanks be to God that we can stand up on the solid rock of Jesus because we have victory in Him.

 

Action steps –

What has God’s Word revealed about your kingdom perspective?

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What changes need to happen in your life to stand up for Jesus?

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As we conclude this 4 part series Bible study and reflect on the first lesson, do you remember the TV show “To Tell the Truth”? After spending time in the Word of God where would you find yourself if you were a contestant on the show? Would you represent the imposters or would the judges be able to identify you as the likeness of the “real” Jesus?

Journal your responses and date it to hold yourself accountable.

Close your time in prayer. Ask the Lord to direct your steps by the power of the Holy Spirit to stand up for Him.

 

Will The Real Jesus Please Stand UP – Lesson Three

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Will the Real Jesus Please Stand Up by Rev. Kris Key

Lesson 3 of a 4 part series

Note: This Bible study is formatted for small group discussion. If using study individually, we suggest you journal your answers.

Our scripture focus for this lesson is from Paul’s letter to the Colossians. He is writing his letter from prison in Rome around A.D. 60 to a small village on a trade route in central Asia-Minor (present day Turkey). We know from Luke’s writings in Acts (Acts 19:10) that the Word of the Lord went out to this area from Ephesus as Paul preached in the synagogue speaking boldly about the kingdom of God. The church in Colosse was under attack as false teaching began to penetrate the hearts and minds of those within the church. Paul wants the Christian believers to remember the TRUTH and how to live a life with Christ that will bear fruit for the kingdom of God. As we dig further into the scripture we must make the decision for ourselves whether Christ is completely adequate. Is Jesus enough or have we fallen prey to the deception of the lies of the world and our old sinful nature?

 

Read Colossians 3:1-17

Focusing our attention on the first 4 verses we notice Chapter 3 begins with a “therefore” (NASB), “since then” (NIV) which should cause us to ask what is it there for? What is the connection and why is this important? The previous chapter has given its readers the complete knowledge of the fullness of Christ so that all Christians may have the “full riches of complete understanding in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.” (Col. 2: 2-3)

We have received Christ as Lord, so we must continue to live in Him and for Him. In Chapter 3 Paul tells us how we can do just that. “Therefore” this is how we as Christians need to live our lives and reflect the person of Christ.

What are the commands given to obey?

Where is our focus for daily living?

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We are told to set out hearts and our minds on things above.  Setting our hearts and minds on things about means concentrating on those things that are eternal and not temporary.

Stop right now and make two lists. One labeled things eternal and the other temporary.

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Discussion Questions:

Where is your daily focus?

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How can your heart and mind be renewed and transformed?

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If we have died to self then the temporary or worldly things would not be our focus. Why? Because we find our security and assurance in Christ. This is our promise to claim with new life hidden in Christ. When Christ is alive in me, no darkness, no lies, can exist. Dark and light cannot occupy the same space so must make the choice to focus on the things above.

 

Reread Colossians 3:1-10

Discussion Questions:

What dark places need to be put to death in your life? (old habits, old practices)

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Where have I sought to please man (the world) instead of the Lord?

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How will you begin to “rid yourself of all such things” and try new practices with Jesus? How will you allow the renewing of your heart and mind to take over your daily life?

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See Philippians 4:8-9 for more practical ways of focusing on Christ.  Journal what you discover.

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Jesus Christ is in everything and is the only thing that really matters.

 

Christ alone!

The popular modern hymn “In Christ Alone” conveys the power of the Gospel written by Keith Getty and Stuart Townsend. This hymn embraces the uniqueness and power of Christ in a world filled with false teaching, imposters and an unbelieving generation. This song tells the gospel story as it aims to strengthen the Christian believer to let Christ be your all in all This song focuses on the Word of God to renew and transform hearts and minds to further the Kingdom of God.

Listen to this modern hymn and be encouraged.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AjR_A2pGPrY

 

If Christ is all and is in all how do you claim this promise on a daily basis?

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How can we as the Body of Christ demonstrate the love of Jesus that no one is better than another because Christ died for all? List some ways you can personally make a difference in your sphere of influence:

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Reread Colossians 3: 12-17

As we focus on these scriptures Paul gives us practical steps to take to live for the Lord every day. Notice that we are called to live as holy and loved people of God. We all have the choice to choose who and what we will imitate!

Our attitudes, our words and actions all make a difference as we strive to reflect Jesus.

List the attitudes and practical ways Paul gives us to live a holy life in Christ:

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We are all called to live a life worthy of the Gospel and to bear fruit that will last. For we represent Jesus at all times as Christians.

 

Discussion Questions:

What decisions must you make in order to be clothed with the characteristics of Christ?

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How can you seek to live a peace filled life and promote peace in your sphere of influence?

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How are you bringing honor and glory to God in all that you do?

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Action steps 

What has God’s Word revealed about your kingdom perspective?

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What changes need to happen in your life to stand up for Jesus?

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Journal your responses and date it to hold yourself accountable.

Close your time in prayer. Ask the Lord to direct your steps by the power of the Holy Spirit to stand up for Him.

 

Will the Real Jesus Please Stand Up – Lesson Two

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Lesson 2 of a 4 part series Bible study

Note: This Bible study is formatted for small group discussion. If using study individually, we suggest you journal your answers.

 

As we continue to seek the truth of who the Real Jesus is, we begin to recognize some unique characteristics of this Real Jesus. The Word of God reveals the TRUTH as we begin to discover who Jesus is.

The Pharisees have been on a mission to trap Jesus. Jesus was teaching to the ever present crowds as he leaves Capernaum and crosses over Judea. All along, the Pharisees are testing Him by asking questions and pointing out when Jesus was teaching and performing acts, with no official authority in their eyes. Jesus continues however to speak truth and teach His disciples as He makes His way up to Jerusalem. Jesus wants His disciples to understand the hope and assurance that “all things are possible with God” (Mark 10:27). Jesus wants them to trust in who He is and His Kingdom. As he journeys to Jerusalem Jesus has much to teach as His followers have much to learn. We begin with Jesus telling His disciples the “first will be last and the last first” (Mark 10:31).

What do you want Jesus to do for you?

 

Read Mark 10:32-34 aloud as a group.

Here we witness Jesus making his way to Jerusalem. The scriptures are clear that Jesus is leading the way. The disciples are astonished while followers are afraid. There would have been many along the way who joined the disciples making their way to Jerusalem for Passover week. The crowd mixed in emotions and purpose as they journey to celebrate the sacrificial Passover lamb for the sins of the people of God.

All going are going to Jerusalem but only one will be betrayed and condemned to death. Jesus for the third time shares with His disciples what they will encounter. Two times before Jesus had shared what was going to happen to Him. (See Mark 8:31, 9:30-31)

What do you notice about this third time He shares? (For further study see Psalm 22:6-8, Isaiah 50:6, 52:13 and 53:12)

 

Discussion Questions:

Do you allow Jesus to be your leader when afraid to follow or astonished at what you hear?

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How are you “going” with Jesus?  As His disciple or follower?  What’s the difference?

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Read Mark 10:35-40

If this Jesus is the Real Jesus then He can do whatever we ask? Right?

The astonishment of two of the disciples create a perspective of Jesus’ Kingdom in which they will receive glory due to being with the “Messiah”. However their definition of the Messiah is a kingdom much different than what Jesus has been teaching.

Was Jesus just a Blessing Giver to them? James and John had just heard what would happen and yet they have no idea of the reality of this new value system Jesus has given them. Instead they turn to worldly thrones and desires for prestige and power.

In ancient royal courts, the seat at someone’s right was reserved as the position of honor and the left hand seat was for an intimate friend.

These two disciples have the wrong idea of Jesus’ kingdom as they ask for positions in Jesus’ court.

Here are James and John who witnessed the transfiguration (Mark 9: 2-9) and were in Jesus’ inner circle. They understood that Jesus would have a kingdom and be glorified, however they did not understand that Jesus’ kingdom was not of this world. (Luke 17: 20-21)

 

Discussion Questions:

How has the world’s lies or imposters of the truth affected your perspective of who the Real Jesus is?

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How has your perspective affected your prayer life?

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What would it take for you to be more like Jesus and ask the question Jesus asks?

“What do you want “me” to do for you Jesus?”

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In verse 38, Jesus tells James and John they have no idea what they are asking. How disheartening this must be for Jesus. He knows His time is limited with them and yet they still don’t understand that in this new kingdom they must be willing to suffer a great cost.

The verb tense in the Greek of verse 39 indicates an event that has not yet happened. The “cup” to which Jesus referred to was the same “cup” mentioned in His prayer in Gethsemane (see Mark 14:36). Jesus knows the depth of suffering He must face and asks His disciples if they are ready to suffer for the sake of the Kingdom.

James and John can’t know the full picture of what is to come as Jesus knows. However we have the promise that we can ask the Lord for anything knowing God will do what is best for us even if the answer to our prayer is “no”.

 

Discussion Questions:

How are your present sufferings bringing glory to God?

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How are you trusting the Lord and remaining faithful when you don’t fully understand?

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Share an experience where you allowed God’s authority to be your authority?

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Read Mark 10:41-45

The other 10 disciples become upset when they hear what James and John request of Jesus.

What emotions and attitudes do you witness within the group?

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Jesus seeks to pull His disciples together when the unity is attacked. Here we see demonstrated another characteristic they are to follow in this new value system of the Real Jesus. Jesus understands how quickly the destructive attitudes and emotions of jealousy, prestige, pride and power could damage the trust and peace of the team of disciples. He doesn’t wait but immediately calls them together and simply seeks to unite them.

Jesus give them a command to obey that the attitude of lording authority and demanding submission would not be so with them! God’s Kingdom was within them and His Kingdom consisted of those who were servants of all. Once again Jesus overturns the value structure they know. Jesus lets them know humility is the highest virtue and that a real leader has a servant’s heart. It wasn’t about position or power but how they could glorify God.

It is the Real Jesus who stands up!

 

Discussion Questions:

How have you allowed your differences with others to destroy the team or family?

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Recall a situation or experience where you allowed the Lord to call you together with someone who you had differences with.

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Share where you witnessed servant leadership.

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How are you different because of Christ in you?

How is it “not so with you”?

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Jesus is our perfect example of a servant leader. He gently but firmly guided His disciples and He commanded them to be obedient. In John 17:21 Jesus prays for us to be complete in unity that His followers would be “one’ brought together to serve Him. To stand for the TRUTH.

Forever Jesus came to serve. Jesus took the form of a servant and paid the ultimate price by dying on a cross for our sins to give us eternal life.

Are we claiming this promise and are we willing to be a servant for all?

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How do you recognize the “Real Jesus”?

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Are you willing to ask Jesus what you can do for Him? Will you humble yourself no matter the cost to stand for the TRUTH?

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Action Steps

What has God’s Word revealed about your kingdom perspective?

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What changes need to happen in your life to stand up for Jesus?

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Journal your responses and date it to hold yourself accountable.

Close your time in prayer. Ask the Lord to direct your steps by the power of the Holy Spirit to stand up for Him.

 

Ten Lessons For Healthy Relationships

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By: Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Combining God’s Truth with sound relational principles can help us build healthy relationships. The following principles have been gleaned from various contexts that God has graciously allowed me to serve. These contexts include in my marriage, as a mother, a teacher, and as a marriage and family therapist. May they bring encouragement and hope to you as well.

  1. Loving touch, practical help, validating feelings, and simply being present with a suffering loved one are appreciated first before attempting to problem solve. When God’s prophet Elijah was very discouraged, God sent an angel to first touch him, and then to give him food (I Kings 19: 5-7). Lastly, He lovingly challenged Elijah (vs. 9).
  2. A child’s anger can be a signal that child/parent attachment needs strengthening. God “gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them in the fold of His garment” (Isaiah 40:11). Make time to touch, verbally affirm, and enjoy your child.
  3. Family devotions around the dinner table can be a symbolic way of sharing communion.       Families who invite Jesus, the living bread of Bethlehem to their family table, make room for Him to touch hungry, weary places in their homes.
  4. Transition, by nature, is unsettling. When families fasten themselves to Jesus, the chief cornerstone (I Peter 2:4), they are better able to navigate through uncharted waters. Keeping an old, familiar tradition in the new routine of daily life can also ease the adjustment.
  5. Society emphasizes gender equality, but young women still need to feel beautiful.       A father communicating this affirmation to his daughter is very important in her ability to think the truth about herself.
  6. A willful decision to practice healthier behaviors sometimes needs to occur before we feel like doing them. Examples could be cutting off an extra-marital affair, complying with medication, or being honest yet respectful about our needs and desires.       God blesses obedience. In time, feelings will catch up with new behaviors.
  7. When sexuality is separate from God’s protective plan (marriage), we lose touch with the higher joy and purpose for sexuality. When we risk reaching for God’s higher purpose in sex, sacredness influences sexuality and husband wife become one flesh…a profound, holy mystery (Ephesians 5: 31, 32).
  8. Boundaries around time, activities and tasks help to bring joy and order back to overstressed families. After Jesus fed four thousand people, He then sent them away (Mark 8:9).       Boundaries can mean ending a task.
  9. Addictive behaviors, such as substance abuse, overwork or overspending can be an attempt to fill empty emotional places. God can fill those empty places with life-giving purpose and release us from captivity (Isaiah 51: 13, 14).

During a recent therapy session my brand new cell phone nestled in my purse, sang loudly. I had no clue how to turn it off. As the client continued talking, I simply picked up my purse, opened my office door, set my purse with singing phone out in the hall, and closed the door. I didn’t think a thing of it…until later.

Really?? Did I really put my purse with my phone out in the hall? I felt mortified!

But God reminded me of another story. I once heard of a therapist that kept a bag of golf clubs in the corner of his office. Inevitably clients would ask: “So, you play golf?” “Nope” the therapist would admit. “I can’t hit a golf ball to save my life. But I keep trying. Someday I’ll get the hang of it.”

Lesson #10: God sometimes uses our inadequacies to give others hope. Hope to keep trying. Hope that tomorrow we’ll try something different, and it might work better. More importantly, God uses my weaknesses, vulnerabilities and even my sins to summon me first to Him. Any upsets and also any joyful moments in our relationships, are first marked by His loving footprints. Be encouraged, dear reader, for He promises: “I will go before you, and make the crooked places straight” (Isaiah 45:2).

 

Making LENT Meaningful and Intentional

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There are many ways to observe Lent, but in whatever way we choose, we should be intentional about coming closer to Christ and deepening our understanding of what He has done for each of us through His death and resurrection. The Easter season is different from Christmastime in that we do not have the pressure of decorating, gift buying, holiday parties and big family meals that so often robs us of time to prepare our hearts for the birth of our savior. But at the same time, because we are not involved in those extra activities, Easter can sneak up on us. We can find ourselves just as unprepared for the true meaning that is to be ours in the celebration and observance of this most holy church season.

That is why I am excited to recommend several resources from Wesleyan Women on the RENEW team.

51VyGNwcdEL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_Kris Key recommends two books by Max Lucado. In Six Hours One Friday, Lucado delves into the meaning of Jesus’ last hours on the cross. The reviews I found on the web of this book were very moving and heartfelt. On reviewer writes, “The way Max Lucado portrays the cross and how our father must have felt with his son on the cross gave me chills and brought me to tears throughout the book, especially the last page. As a parent, I simply can’t imagine.

You might also want to consider He Chose the Nails, an in depth look at what Jesus did for us. In this book Lucado writes about how much Jesus loved us – a love that led him to choose the cross. In this book you will find a discussion of the symbols such as the crown of thorns, the burial clothes, the sign of the cross, and many more. On reader describes this book as “very emotional and eye opening. This will most defiantly be a book I read every year!”

9780060608163_p0_v2_s260x420Karen Booth shared that every year she tries to read The Day Christ Died by Jim Bishop. The author approaches this day from the viewpoint of a journalistic historian rather than a theologian. In fact, the book reads like a narrative from a storybook. It is written in hourly increments and opens at 6 P.M. with Jesus and ten of the apostles coming through the pass between the Mt. of Olives and the Mt. of Offense in route to Jerusalem and the Last Supper. It closes at 4 P.M. of the following afternoon when Jesus was taken down from the cross. One cannot help but be drawn into the “most dramatic day in the history of the world – the day Jesus of Nazareth died.

Sara Anderson, chief operating officer at Bristol House Publishing (800-451-7323 or www.bristolhouseltd.com), has three suggestions for seven week studies that are not specifically for Lent but lend themselves well for growing closer to Christ and deepening our walk with Him.

Everyday Christian: Living Like Christ Seven Days a Week – encourages us to become followers of Christ, and invite God’s Spirit to infiltrate every area of our life, both inside and out. “Whether it be in our business practices, how we treat our family, how we react on the sports field, how we take care of our bodies, or how we treat God’s creation, our lives are to be consistently Christ-like and Holy Spirit-filled–no matter where we are or what we are doing.”

She also suggests Christian Disciplines: Creating Time and Space for God.

“Discipline is necessary to realize our desires and goals. It is the means to an end, a method of moving forward, a path toward a destination, a way of living that enables accomplishment….This study focuses on the Christian’s yearning for a deeper life in God and more faithful living out of faith in Jesus Christ.”

The Sower Went Out: And Other Parables of Jesus. This book gives fresh depth and meaning to seven parables; the sower, the good Samaritan, the prodigal son, the Pharisee and the tax collector, the wise and foolish builders, the workers in the vineyard and the ten virgins.

41h66EhKawL._SY344_BO1,204,203,200_The one resource that has been very meaningful to me is Richard John Neuhaus’ Death on a Friday Afternoon: Meditations on the Last Words of Jesus from the Cross. Neuhaus devotes a chapter to each of the seven works of Christ from the cross. I have underlined so many deep insights as I have read and re-read this book. With each reading, my understanding of His death and resurrection is deepened as I am pulled into the drama of what is taking place on my behalf and the behalf of all humanity. In the Preface I found this quote, “…Good Friday is the key to understanding what Dante called “the love that moves the sun and all the other stars.” I can highly recommend this book.

During this Lenten season, The RENEW Team hopes these suggestions will help you to deepen your relationship with Jesus, your savior and help make this time of preparation indeed meaningful. In fact any time or season, these resources will enrich your walk.

In Christ,

Katy Kiser

Are we preoccupied with sex or something?

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You can’t disagree that relationships, including sex, preoccupy the minds of young adults. You remember being young, don’t you? I do, vaguely.

When our high school seniors go to college they find a world far different from that of their parents. Discussions these days aren’t about dating; they are about “hooking up” and “friends with benefits”. Relationships are more complicated today than ever before. If not approached from a Christian perspective, the complexities can leave wounds that scar a woman for the rest of her life.

Bristol House has several books that deal specifically with relationships. Real Sex by Lauren Winner is the best book I’ve seen on relationships and sexuality. It provides a frank perspective on healthy relationships from a woman who came to Christ after being sexually active. This book comes highly recommended from Rev. Karen Booth, director of Transforming Congregations and author of Forgetting How to Blush, a Bristol House publication.

Sex and the Soul of a Woman, written by Christian therapist Paula Rhinehart, describes the heartache and healing of young women who have been sexually active before marriage. Part of the theme of the feminist movement encouraged woman to be as casual about sexual activity as men. But, as, the author points out, women aren’t wired that way, and every casual sexual encounter leaves them more insecure and eventually numb. Rhinehart’s book offers warning to the uninitiated and encouragement to those who have been hurt.

In The Ring Makes all the Difference, Glenn Stanton uses sociological studies to reinforce what we already know to be true—that biblical standards of morality shape stronger relationships. Studies conducted over 40 years show that “trial marriages” of living together before marriage damaged relationships. In what seems counter-intuitive in contemporary society, cohabiting weakens bonds and leads men, in particular, to be less responsible. Even moving in together during the time prior to the wedding is not a helpful for the long-term stability of marriage.

Blessings,

Sara L. Anderson

PROGRAMS, SEMINARS AND RETREATS

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Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT, is a Texas and Wisconsin State-licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, currently with Gracepoint Marriage and Family Center in The Woodlands, Texas. Her counseling focus is with couples experiencing crisis or conflict, and individuals and families challenged with grief and loss, depression, and stressful life transitions. Mary and her husband, Rev. Tom Lambrecht, were in pastoral ministry together for almost 30 years, and Tom now serves with Good News in The Woodlands, Texas. They have three grown daughters. With Christ as her cornerstone (Isaiah 28:16), Mary counts it a great privilege to be used by God through counseling, writing, and speaking.

“GOD’S FEARLESS LOVE FOR CHALLENGING  RELATIONSHIPS

By: Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

This seminar is based on I John 4:18.  It was formerly presented at: Sewanee Seminary, Sewanee, TN, March 2009; Faith Community UNC, Greenville, WI, March 2008 & Faith UMC, Neenah, WI, February 2006. Also: see series of nine radio programs downloadable on www.pfl.org.

Loving one another with God’s love can challenge us, especially during conflict, pain, and difficult circumstances. These seminars will explore ways to understand and communicate with challenging people. Jesus and His interactions with Mary and Martha prior to Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead, will serve as a Biblical relational model for these seminars. Mary’s message will conclude with the testimony of her brother giving his heart to Jesus Christ, shortly before he died of AIDS in 1991.

COPING WITH LOSS:   PRACTICAL, GODLY PATHWAYS FOR HEALING

By: Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

Death and other losses can feel overwhelming and consuming, especially during the early stages of grief. This one-day retreat explores how God can companion the grief-stricken individual. Drawing from her own personal experience and years of clinical practice, Mary shares how scripture, and inviting Jesus to be our gatekeeper in our grief (based on John 10), can help us walk through our losses.

FEAR AND ANXIETY: STEPS TO RESTORING COURAGE AND STABILITY

By: Mary Lambrecht, M.S. LMFT

This one-day retreat, based on I Peter 5:6 & 7, explores the meaning of “casting the whole of our care” upon God so that our fears and anxieties no longer master us. Discussion will include common causes to fear and anxiety, and practical and psychological treatment that align with Biblical truths and principles.

To schedule Mary Lambrecht, Marriage and Family Therapist for your Seminar or Retreat contact her at:

Gracepoint Marriage and Family Center

9201 Grogan’s Mill Road

The Woodlands, TX 77380

Desk: 281-466-8651

Cell: 920-475-6001

E-mail: lambsail@sbcglobal.net

 

 

 

Try A Lot of Kindness

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By Sara Anderson

Bristol Blog Twin TowersThere’s a lot of dark news on television, the internet and newspapers these days.  Sometimes I would like to crawl into bed and pull the quilt over my head.  But then I see grace-filled news about the kindness of ordinary people, which is heart-warming. Here’s a sampling:

A woman’s husband collapses while mowing grass. After he has safely been taken to the hospital, one of the firemen comes back to finish mowing the lawn.

An eight-year old girl hears that a veteran needs a service dog to assist him with his Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.  She begins to raise money and enlist others to help.  The vet now has his service dog.

A woman in New York City found a wedding picture in the rubble of the World Trade Center.  For 13 years she had been trying to find the owner of that photo.  She and one of the men in the photograph (a member of the wedding party who had placed the picture on his desk in one of the Twin Towers) were on television this morning.  He said that on September 11, we saw the worst of humanity. On September 12, we saw the best of humanity; the woman determined to find the photo’s owner represents the best of humanity.

To my thinking, it is all grace.  I don’t know if any of these people were believers, but I do believe that God uses unexpected circumstances and ordinary people to demonstrate His grace in our fallen world. We don’t have to be heroic with a capital “H”.  We simply need to let God’s grace flow through us.

Blessings,

Sara Anderson
bristol303@yahoo.com
Bristol House, Ltd.

Sounds of Silence

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 By Sara Anderson

Bristol Blog Sara Long View SilenceOne of the disciplines of the contemplative life is practicing periods of silence to listen to God and to think.  It is hard to find quiet in our clanging mostly urban and suburban world.  Yet such time is important for our sanity and the health of our souls.

I recently returned from my third retreat and vacation to the island of Iona, one island in Scotland’s’ Inner Hebrides.  Approximately three miles long and one and a half miles wide, Iona is home to the historic Iona Abbey, founded by St. Columbia in 553.  The current structure dates to the Thirteenth Century and fell into disrepair.  After numerous renovations over the centuries, it was almost completely restored in the early 20th Century and again repaired recently.  It is now an ecumenical Christian center for worship and spiritual retreat, as well as a historic preservation.

Early in the trip a new friend asked me, “With all of the beautiful places in the world to see (and Iona is ruggedly beautiful), why do you keep coming back?”

I tried to give a succinct answer, but I think it is a combination of things:  the beauty, the quiet (only the approximately 175 permanent residents of the island are allowed to own motorized vehicles), the worship services held in several churches on the island, the company of long-time friends with whom I have traveled and the Christian history which is so evident.

Iona has been called a ‘thin place’, a place where the space between Bristol Cover Prayer Begins with a RelationshipGod and humanity has been easier to span. It is not that God is closer to me when I visit; it is that I am encouraged by the quiet and lack of distractions to carefully listen to God.

After hearing about the advantages of silence from a gregarious pastor on Sunday morning, my friends and I discussed how hard it was to be quiet and listen.  One woman said that silence sometimes forced her attention toward things she really didn’t want to think about and caused her to grab her MP3 player and headphones.  But she stopped instead and listened to some of the feelings and thoughts she believed God wanted her to work through.

I think she pinpointed one of the significant reasons that it is hard to be silent, to still our bodies and minds and attend to the thoughts of God.  He often has things to say to us that we might not want to face – but need to for our spiritual health.

If you are not used to silence and your mind is prone to racing thoughts, only five minutes of quiet and disciplined focus on the Lord can be a good beginning.  You will be amazed by what you hear!

Blessings,

Sara Anderson
bristol303@yahoo.com
Bristol House, Ltd.